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I ________________________& __________________________ agree to the following rules and obligations when participating in the act of an extremely rare but awesome double team.
- The female party to participate in said act is only allowed to be from an outside social group unfamiliar with both male parties. This may be disregarded if both male parties agree female party has achieved a rating of nine (9) or higher. This rating is only to be given when males are sober and not under the influence of any other mind altering drug(s).
- Both male parties agree to remain on opposite sides/ends of female party to reduce the possibility of “seeing the junk” and “touchage”.
- During the course of said acts both male parties agree to limit the time spent looking down as this will aid in reducing the possibility of “seeing the junk”.
- Dual oral sex involving both male parties is strictly prohibited. The female party is not allowed to handle both parties junk in any same or extremely close orifice at anytime. Ever.
- If “touchage of the junk” occurs at any point during the double team, both male parties agree never to acknowledge it. It simply never happened and will be omitted when “telling your buddies”. Furthermore male parties are never to speak of “the touchage of the junk” as this is punishable by death. If a non participant in the double team jokes about “touchage of the junk” when the “legend” is being told, both parties that have achieved the illustrious double team are to call him a “fag” and berate him relentlessly with gay jokes for the period of one (1) month, this can only end early if he “bangs a Ten (10)”.
- In the event that “touchage of the junk” happens twice in the same double team, the female party may be knocked unconscious and male parties are to decide to fight to the death to assign blame for the violation. This contract may be used in a court of law for a plea of self-defense and is to be shown only to males that can decide the remaining male’s fate. This includes judges, jurors, and prosecutors.
- If male parties have knocked female party unconscious and have decided to forgo a fight to the death, males may finish the double team. Upon female party awakening, she is to be told she could not handle the pleasure and simply passed out.
- Kissing the female party after sexual acts have begun is strictly prohibited.
- The female party is no longer allowed to be double teamed by either male without the other male party present unless requested by female that has achieved the rating of nine (9) or higer.
- “Bro’s before Ho’s clause”. The female party is not allowed to be dated or married as this will undoubtedly cause tremendous awkwardness to the other male party and brotherhood will cease to exist.
- Buddies that do not offer you a cold beverage or cigar after hearing the “legend” are no longer to be trusted with these types of awesome stories as they may blab to other potential female parties and ruin the chances of recreating this experience.
- This contract after being signed is to be copied one (1) time so that each party may store it in a private place only known to themselves for their personal records and safekeeping.
- In the event that a male party passes away, this contract is to left in the will in a blank envelope to be given to the other party. This contract, upon reception in this manner will be burned with the original and or copy in memory of the other parties awesomeness and the death of the “great duo”.
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Signature of Male Party A.
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Name of Female Party Rating
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Signature of Male Party B.
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